Drinker's Discussions

Dapper man: It's always best to refrain from drinking until after 5 o'clock. PM.

Beautiful dame: Indeed. In our society it is frowned upon to drink before.

Dapper man: Thank God that it is always 5 o'clock somewhere!!

Dapper man: I have decided that for now on I am only going to drink on Saturdays.

Beautiful dame: Golly! That's great that you are going to cut back on drinking!!

Dapper man: Thank God that it is always Saturday somewhere!!

Dapper man: Drinking fact: When you use a zero calorie mixer with a liquor you get a drink with zero calories.

Beautiful dame: Golly. That's fascinating! This drinking fact is not very well known.

Dapper man: It's simple mathematics. Zero times anything is always zero!!

Dapper man: The Commies keep talking about being existential.

Beautiful dame: Indeed. Eggs ARE an essential ingrediant for many classic cocktails.

Dapper man: Here's to essential eggs and the Whiskey Sour!!

Dapper man: True scientific fact: One drink a day is not detrimental to your health.

Beautiful dame: Indeed. But we drinkers like to interpret a "drink" as "a sitting."

Dapper man: Here's to sitting on the couch all day watching sport and having a "drink."

Dapper man: True scientific fact: Excessive drinking can effect the hippocampus.

Beautiful dame: Very true. Too much drinking can cause hippos to lose focus of their studies.

Dapper man: Here's to the higher education of hippos.

Dapper man: True scientific fact: Humans need about eight cups of water a day.

Beautiful dame: Indeed. Fortunately, most drinks consist of at least sixty percent water.

Dapper man: Let's use 75%. Here's to ten drinks a day to stay hydrated!

Dapper man: General Patton said that we should be hitting the Commies with miscellaneous ordnance.

Beautiful dame: Agreed. The only way to stop Communist agression is to send missiles right up their anuses.

Dapper man: Here's to sending our missiles right up the Commie's assholes!!

Dapper man: As much as we drink, I'm thinking that we should participate in "Sober October" sometime.

Beautiful dame: If we did that, we would have to make it up and we wouldn't "Remember November!"

Dapper man: I know. Stupid idea. Here's to keeping with the "status quo, bro!"

Dapper man: True drinking fact: too much drinking can cause one to be catatonic.

Beautiful dame: Indeed. I love petting my cat while drinking a tonic.

Dapper man: Hmm... Here's to drinking a gin and tonic with, um, your cat!

Dapper man: Did you know that it is illegal in most states to NOT fill a Wine Tumbler to the fill line?

Beautiful dame: Indeed. Filling to the line is required by law. In most states.

Dapper man: Here's to being a law-abiding citizen!