Hmm. I was on an early morning shuttle to work during the week. And on Firday we would stop at a Cantina on the way home and have some Tequila y Margaritas y Fajitas. And the BS would start flowing. These discussions were derived and imagined since then.
Dapper man: It's always best to refrain from drinking until after 5 o'clock. PM.
Beautiful dame: Indeed. In our society it is frowned upon to drink before.
Dapper man: Thank God that it is always 5 o'clock somewhere!!
Dapper man: I have decided that for now on I am only going to drink on Saturdays.
Beautiful dame: Golly! That's great that you are going to cut back on drinking!!
Dapper man: Thank God that it is always Saturday somewhere!!
Dapper man: Drinking fact: When you use a zero calorie mixer with a liquor you get a drink with zero calories.
Beautiful dame: Golly. That's fascinating! This drinking fact is not very well known.
Dapper man: It's simple mathematics. Zero times anything is always zero!!
Dapper man: The Commies keep talking about being existential.
Beautiful dame: Indeed. Eggs ARE an essential ingrediant for many classic cocktails.
Dapper man: Here's to essential eggs and the Whiskey Sour!!
Dapper man: True scientific fact: One drink a day is not detrimental to your health.
Beautiful dame: Indeed. But we drinkers like to interpret a "drink" as "a sitting."
Dapper man: Here's to sitting on the couch all day watching sport and having a "drink."
Dapper man: True scientific fact: Excessive drinking can effect the hippocampus.
Beautiful dame: Very true. Too much drinking can cause hippos to lose focus of their studies.
Dapper man: Here's to the higher education of hippos.
Dapper man: True scientific fact: Humans need about eight cups of water a day.
Beautiful dame: Indeed. Fortunately, most drinks consist of at least sixty percent water.
Dapper man: Let's use 75%. Here's to ten drinks a day to stay hydrated!
Dapper man: General Patton said that we should be hitting the Commies with miscellaneous ordnance.
Beautiful dame: Agreed. The only way to stop Communist agression is to send missiles right up their anuses.
Dapper man: Here's to sending our missiles right up the Commie's assholes!!
Dapper man: As much as we drink, I'm thinking that we should participate in "Sober October" sometime.
Beautiful dame: If we did that, we would have to make it up and we wouldn't "Remember November!"
Dapper man: I know. Stupid idea. Here's to keeping with the "status quo, bro!"
Dapper man: True drinking fact: too much drinking can cause one to be catatonic.
Beautiful dame: Indeed. I love petting my cat while drinking a tonic.
Dapper man: Hmm... Here's to drinking a gin and tonic with, um, your cat!
Dapper man: Did you know that it is illegal in most states to NOT fill a Wine Tumbler to the fill line?
Beautiful dame: Indeed. Filling to the line is required by law. In most states.
Dapper man: Here's to being a law-abiding citizen!